I could hear faint sounds across my bed. Some are shrill and sharp prolly a woman talking and some beeping prolly anna's alarm. I opened the shutters of my eyes lil by lil and it was semi dark n blurry. A tear drop streaked across my left eye and I felt my hands are cold and numb. I called for John twice in the voice I could muster but he din't answer. I moved by head and tried looking for him but found no one near me. 'He must be out for his dinner, Anna will be mad if he don't take his meals properly', I assured myself. I closed my eyes and slowly by slowly the voices around me started dissipating. I felt comfortable I couldn't feel the pain of soreness of my body anymore. This feeling, ah , I knew this feeling, I felt it before, for so many times.........

I was crouching my 6 year old legs between arms, hot red blood was pouring out from the fresh bruise of the knee . I tripped myself over the skipping rope ,of which my mom warned me before. I kept on blowing air over it for the short of intervals of relief; of numbness. Getting exhausted of blowing, I slowly lifted my head up and saw the scenery which I kinda ignored all my childhood. The grassy low hill edging with a murky river emerging from the southern hills. The hills gradually turn to hazy blue and bald as they move over the eye's horizon. A small grassy breeze held my conscience and I forgot the pain of the bruise, the surrounding sounds disappeared and there I was feeling 'this' feeling: " Neither sad nor happy: A blankness in serenity".

'I was looking at the intersection line of the Azure skies and the Sapphire sea, with the waves playing rhythm in my ear drum.... I was there on that hot afternoon sand in an ink smeared shirt of a 12 yr bullied kid, with my anger slowly melting into emptiness...'Neither sad nor happy: A evangelic point of balance'

'I looked at the 18yr old girl standing before me, into her big hazel brown eyes, a guy confessed to her and said words she never heard before....for the first time she felt "they were indeed honest and beautiful". I looked into them more intently under the mirror light and suddenly I felt myself falling into this feeling, my happiness vanished into void..'Neither sad nor happy: A fleeting moment of emptiness'


'I was looking down with my chin rested on the railing of the 4oth floor,my eyes were fixed at the sight of cars... for they looked like small ants relentlessly n restlessly running between concrete pillars to keep up with the seconds hand. There I was standing with a 24 yr old heart wounded of betrayal. Voilent and sucidal thoughts flashed..I was split into two people of life and death....i was completely lost...but for a moment my lost and agonised mind got focused at the ants in the evening sun...and i was calmed down...there..that feeling..'Neither sad nor happy: A transition point from dark to light'


'I was looking in those Emerald eyes of 8 yr old John when he said he will look after 36 yr old me, when he grows big' ..I wasn't expecting that...all the shock eventually turning into happiness...in so a less a time than the blink of his eyes...in which the nothingness prevailed..'Neither sad nor happy: A lapse of a neuron'.

'I was looking at the one man show, the words of Eric Nelson were always mesmerizing, he always gave my 60 yr old mind a comfort wen John and Anna leave the house...i slowly falling into sleep...'Neither sad nor happy' : A moment in solitude.

..................................................................................................................................................................

Now i am lying in this 72 yr old withered shell on this bed not clear of the surroundings...i lay..
Numb and this feeling again.....
Neither sad nor happy....for a split second a flood of images came across my mind...I saw the image of my father helping me cross a brook...my mother cooking in the kitchen...my first love.....the baby john all appeared all so sudden..my heart began to race...and this time i drowned into it....Neither happy nor sad: A life's journey from Earth to Ether.